How to handle difficult customers in sales without losing listings

Handling difficult customers in sales is a challenge that every real estate agent faces at some point in their career. Whether it's a seller with unrealistic expectations, a buyer struggling with anxiety, or a client upset about a low appraisal, navigating these conversations requires finesse and emotional intelligence. The stakes are high: maintaining your commission, preserving client relationships, and ensuring potential referrals hinge on how you manage these interactions. In this post, we will explore effective strategies for handling difficult customers without losing your listings.

The Real Estate Emotional Landscape

Why Home Conversations Are Uniquely Emotional:
Real estate transactions are not just financial decisions; they are deeply tied to personal identity, financial stability, and significant life milestones. For many clients, buying or selling a home is one of the most emotional experiences they will encounter, often triggering feelings of joy, anxiety, or even grief. Understanding this emotional landscape is crucial for agents aiming to maintain listings while addressing client concerns.

Client Emotional States by Transaction Phase:

  • Listing Phase: Sellers may feel a strong attachment to their homes, leading to unrealistic expectations about pricing and timelines.

  • Buyer Search Phase: Buyers often experience fear of missing out (FOMO), decision paralysis, and anxiety, especially first-time buyers.

  • Under Contract Phase: This phase can bring about stress related to inspections, appraisals, and financing, leading to heightened emotions.

  • Closing Phase: Clients may experience buyer's remorse or seller grief, leading to last-minute cold feet.

  • Deal Collapse: If a deal falls through, clients may feel profound disappointment, anger, and seek someone to blame.

Recognizing these emotional states allows agents to approach conversations with empathy and understanding, which is vital in maintaining client relationships.

The Trust Economy of Real Estate

Why Referrals Are Everything:
In real estate, one conversation can determine whether clients become advocates or detractors. A satisfied client is likely to refer you to friends and family, while a disgruntled one can damage your reputation.

Where Agents Lose Credibility:

  • Credibility Killer 1: Overpromising on price or timeline.
    Consequence: This destroys trust and leads to disappointment.

  • Credibility Killer 2: Defensive responses to bad news.
    Consequence: This creates complaints and poor reviews.

  • Credibility Killer 3: Pressure tactics or commission focus.
    Consequence: Clients perceive self-interest over their interests.

Positioning yourself as a trusted advisor rather than a pushy salesperson is essential. By focusing on the client's needs and concerns, you can build a foundation of trust that will serve you well in challenging situations.

Market Condition Conversations

Explaining Market Reality to Unrealistic Clients:
When clients have unrealistic expectations, it’s essential to guide them through the market realities without damaging the relationship.

Overpriced Listing Scenarios:

  • Seller Says: "But I need to get $X."
    Translation: Financial pressure, not market understanding.
    Your Response: "I understand your need, but let’s look at the current market data together."

  • Seller Says: "My neighbor sold for more."
    Translation: Comparison without understanding differences.
    Your Response: "Every home is unique. Let’s discuss what makes yours different."

  • Seller Says: "Just try my price first."
    Translation: Hoping for a miracle.
    Your Response: "I appreciate your optimism. However, pricing too high can lead to extended days on market, which may ultimately hurt your sale."

Using a Comparative Market Analysis (CMA) presentation can help clients understand the data behind pricing, making it easier for them to accept your recommendations.

Transaction Challenge Conversations

Appraisal Gap Scenarios:
When an appraisal comes in low, it can create significant tension. Here’s how to handle this situation effectively:

Immediate Response:

  • For Buyers: "The appraisal came in at $X, which is $Y below the contract price. Here are our options…"

  • For Sellers: "The appraisal didn't match our contract price. Before you panic, let me walk through what this means…"

Option Presentation Framework:

  • Option 1: Seller reduces price to appraised value.
  • Option 2: Buyer brings additional cash to close the gap.
  • Option 3: Meet in the middle – split the difference.
  • Option 4: Buyer walks (earnest money implications).
  • Option 5: Challenge the appraisal (timeline and success probability).

By presenting options clearly and empathetically, you can help clients navigate their emotions and make informed decisions, preserving the deal and your relationship.

Client Objection Handling

Commission Objections:
Handling objections effectively is crucial in maintaining listings. Here’s how to address common objections:

  • "Your commission is too high."
    Response Framework: "I understand your concern. Let’s discuss the value I bring to the table and how it can lead to a higher sale price."

  • "I'll just sell it myself."
    Response Framework: "I respect that choice. However, let me share some statistics on the challenges FSBO sellers face."

  • "Discount brokers charge less."
    Response Framework: "I appreciate your research. However, my services are designed to maximize your return on investment."

By addressing objections with empathy and providing value-driven responses, you can reassure clients and maintain their trust, ultimately keeping your listings intact.


In conclusion, handling difficult customers in sales requires a blend of emotional intelligence, effective communication, and strategic objection handling. By understanding the emotional landscape of real estate transactions, building trust, and addressing client concerns with empathy, you can navigate challenging conversations without losing your listings. Remember, your ability to manage these interactions not only affects your commission but also shapes your reputation and future referrals.